#PowerOf23# Day 19 - 23 Things To Concur On Before You Say “I Do!” !

Your better half isn't likely to change just because you got married, so it's important to know what your deal breakers are before you walk down the aisle.

We all have our negative habits but if you are thinking of marrying someone who drinks heavily when upset, is moody and has fits of rage, stay away as those traits wont disappear when you marry.

Even marrying someone who is a home person while you love party could be a factor in causing stress in a marriage.

Marriages are made in heaven and broken on Earth, so it is of paramount importance to know which are those things which you and your better half should be in consensus with before you commit to the word “Marriage.”

With this thought, lets proceed with our #PowerOf23# series for today on 23 Things To Concur On Before You Say “I Do!”

1.Finance: Make sure you have the same financial priorities. While savers and spenders can happily coexist, it's important to have same view on your longer-term financial goals to keep your marriage on steady footing.

2.Equality: In a marriage both are equal. Education, pay scale, designation and success does not define supremacy in a Marriage

3. Respect: The core foundation of marriage, respect for each other, for each other’s values, for opinions and for everything that is sacred to the other person.

4.Trust: Simply Love isn’t enough for the marriage to sustain, all marriage breed on trust.

5.Tolerance towards Each Other Parents: In India, you don’t marry a person you marry a family. The ideal scenario would be to treat each others parents as you would treat your parents, however let’s be realistic and understand that even if you respect and tolerate each other parents, the marriage lasts.

6.Drinking Habits: You love alcohol, but your partner doesn't. If your partner's having a glass of wine, go ahead and have one with them. Discrepancy in your drinking habits can lead to marital strife.

7.Empathy Levels: A healthy and happy relationship thrives on empathy. It should revolve around how each person is feeling. Partners in unstable relationships often find themselves fighting with their significant other, with little or no regard for how the other person feels.

8.You are just not compatible : Opposite attract at first, but at the end of the day, they're not always compatible as they can't always figure out how to make a long-lasting relationship work. Little things like messiness and movie preferences are negligible, but it's the bigger things like one being hard core practical and other is an emotional person, further difference may also arise on political views, religion, one is carefree and other is possessive, sense of humour one is too jovial and the other is serious, spending habits etc to name few.

9. Resolve Differences: Lets accept all marriages have issues and all marriages have fights/ disagreements. The ability to bounce back after a fight is what matter. One golden role I believe in “Never to sleep and let the day pass without resolving the issue.”

10. Forgiveness: The belief to believe that everything is workable and forgivable if you want the marriage to sustain. The ability to forgive and forget and move on without any grudges.

11. Your Sleep Pattern: If your opinion of a good day is getting up early and your better half is of the view of sleeping till noon, you are misfit in this partnership.

12. Your Habits Including Attitude towards Cleanliness: If you are north pole and your partner is at south pole about the basic habits like attitude towards oral hygiene, cleanliness, the way a house is maintained, brushing teeth every night, changing bedsheet every week, cleaning house every weekend etc then the marriage is likely to suffer.

13.Your Food Preferences: The battle of Vegetarian Vs Non Vegetarian continues and could be major factor for disagreements between couples.

14.Introvert/ Extrovert: How do you fancy spending your free time is of importance especially when one is introvert and other is extrovert. Will the same hobbies and fun ideas excite each other or is it which repeals the other ? For eg:- one person might view holiday as a trekking, enjoyment, fulfilling and fun activity while other would want to check in at an exotic location just to unwind and relax.

15.Being Best Friends: Being friends before you enter into a romantic relationship and best friends as years pass can help cement your bond decades down the line as you know each other and have a realistic understanding of each other personalities, strengths, and weaknesses.

16.Genuine Affection for each other: The world is full of surprises, and not all of them good, so make the most of every moment with your partner, especially at each small instance you get with each other everyday. Always kiss each other good morning and goodnight. Trival it may seem it will keep the glow alive.

17. The Ability to Give Space: Space isn’t a negative concept. Just because you want to spend time away from your partner doesn't mean you love them less.

18. Handling Disagreements: A relationship’s success is based on how differences are dealt with. How do you handle disagreements? Do you throw things at each other, calmly discuss issues or are silent when disagreements arise?

20.Children: Whether to have children? When to have? How many to have? How to raise them? And defining the role of each parent is crucial to agree before you child/children are born.

21.Religion : How important is religion? Are all religions equal? Is God one? In the event of religious differences, how tolerant each spouse is to other spouse’s opinion ? Will all religious holidays be celebrated in the house ? All these things do matter.

22. Success Parameters: The importance of ambition and success is of paramount importance. If one is highly ambitious and other is happy with bare minimum achievements, then the marriage is for toss.

23. You're not on the same page: You & your partner should agree about fundamental decisions like which country/city to live, when and whether to have kids, and how to save and spend money—otherwise, the relationship will fall apart.

The above list is just indicative. Each and every person would have his/her unique list and few of those would be non-negotiable to such an extent that people would walk out of relationship rather than compromise, adjust and end in separation later on. Do let me know what was of extreme importance to you when you decided to say “I Do!”

(C) Prachee Kamat @PowerOf23 @PowerOfPositivity @BeliefOfAWoman @BeingAStrongWoman @BeingHappy @LifeIsGood